Wallflower, schmallflower

Today I was quite the social butterfly. I feel so...popular. Haha. Managed to hit my nephew's last t-ball game of the year, even if I was a teeny, tiny bit late. Of course they won. There are no losers in t-ball. That starts next year. :D  It was just the "women" today: both grandmas, plus Ja's ma (aka The Sister), his sissy El (aka Pun'kin or Tracey Jr, depending on her behavior. Today she was both.) Oh, and moi (aka...me). It was a blue skies, breezy weather kind of morning, sitting in lawn chairs under the trees, cheering on some cutie-patootie kids who looked like they were having a blast. A five-star day right there.
Afterwards I did my "chores" for the day. Filled up the car, got groceries, worked out...which is getting the groceries. I am not a dawdler when it comes to the grocery store. I know what I need, I know where it is and I freakin kick it into high gear. It's not a successful day if the cashier doesn't ask "Are you okay? You look a bit...hot."  So far, there have been no unsuccessful days. ;)
And then the highlight of this social butterfly's day- the marching band picnic, where I knew exactly two people and they both have the same last name as me. Then the one who was the whole reason we were there abandoned us. No worries, K and I just made some new friends. We picked up a new skill, too. It's this game you've probably heard of called Washers. And lucky lady here got a hole in one...washer in the hole...whatever it's called. Because I'm awesome. Actually...I couldn't even tell where the dang things were landing. Lol. K had to tell me. But it really was a blast, until I played nice and let another kid have my spot. Luckily, the hot dogs were phenomenal, so the day ended on a high note anyway.
You know, putting myself out there, in new situations, without any "back up" is really hard for me. Because of the deaf thing, of course, and because I've always been a bit socially awkward. Just because I'm older, doesn't mean it's easier, exactly. It just means...I don't care so much about how others see me. Or if it freaks them out to see my scars and the way I walk and the wonky eye, among other things. It's still hard for me to strike up a conversation but I'm getting better at putting myself out there, not just standing on the sidelines any more.

Hello sweeties

Miss me? It's been quite awhile. Sorry that I've been absent; I don't even have a good excuse. No major obstacles got in my way, just...life. As it sometimes does. I'm not going to bore you with everything that's happened in the last 10 months. That would take a book. A boring, dry, tedious book. The kids are growing bigger, as they are supposed to do. The husband and I have joined forces in our insane, crazy, seemingly impossible journey to a healthier us. I actually use my gym membership. Crazy, I know!
Not that everything was all sunshine and roses while I was gone. There were some fairly bleak days, too. But we pushed through. We celebrated the good and found constructive ways to overcome the bad, together, the way it's meant to be done.
Anyway. This is just a short post to say....I'm baa-ackkk! And damn, I feel good. ;)
Keep an eye on this page, because it's not staying quiet anymore.

Mwahhh!

last week 5 lbs; this week...

1/2 a lb. lost. I hit all of my exercise and calorie goals. Mostly. But my body has gone into lock down mode. It thinks I'm starving so it's holding on to everything. (You know what I mean.) I think if I keep continuosly hitting my calorie goals every day then my body will get with the program. Still, 5 1/2 pounds in 2 weeks is  pretty darn great.

My goals:

Exercise- My final goal will be 6 days a week, 30-40 minutes each day of some kind of physical activity. "Sweat every day." But it's a gradual climb. My body is not ready for 0-60 in 8 seconds. ;) This week I did 4 days, all over 30 minutes. Which is also pretty darn great. My husband watched part of the yoga video I do and then said "You can really do all of this?" Yes, I can. Yoga has been my main source of exercise so far, along with some heavy duty house cleaning this week, but I'm about to add swimming and belly dancing, too. (If the class is still available.) Does anyone know what the calorie burn rate is for actively swimming on your back?

Calories- According to my Lose It! app I can lose 2 lbs a week at 1730 calories a day. I've been trying to do a 3 day cycle- 1430, 1730, 2030- and the problem actually is not the 1430 calories day. When I started this journey I tried to mentally prepare myself to be hungry all the time. But I'm not. Now that I've been diet soda free for 3 weeks my appetite is almost non-existant. I can easily do the 1430, and I'm able to hit the 1730 but the 2030 is proving more elusive. Never though I'd have to force myself to eat more.

So, that's where I stand. Any pointers?

this, that and the other

Wow- lovin' this weather! Fall weather is my favorite- crisp and cool and clear. The air just smells cleaner. That should be Spring, right? Except in Spring it storms a lot so around here it always smell kinda... moldy. Like wet, dead leaves. So, Fall weather is my fav. And, of course, there's Fall clothes- jeans and layers (but not too many layers) and thin sweaters, with no bulky winter coat making you feel like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. The sky is bright and blue today without the searing intensity of the Summer sun. I can walk outside without immediately breaking out into a sweat- definite plus. In fact, it's that perfect weather for reading outside that I was talking about. Well, almost. Just a little cooler would be fab because then I could take a throw blanket out to wrap up in while I read. I've mentioned my love of cocooning, nesting, swaddling, etc, yes? The weather man (who we trust to be wrong about half the time) is saying more rain is headed this way. But it's not staying long. I hope this Fall stretches out until Christmas... ok, ok Thanksgiving. Because I love Winter, too.

This past Saturday we got to throw a House Party (yes, it's supposed to be capitalized*) for our new Keurig Vue- which is utterly fantastic! (And it was FREE, my favorite word, just for being selected to show it off). I wasn't much of a coffee drinker before but there are so many varieties! The Sister and her family were our guests. We had fun trying the different flavors and giggling over our high tech coffee maker. It has a touch screen, people! I feel like one of the Jetson's here. I read somewhere that 2 cups a coffee a day is actually good for you (for now); finally, a health rule I don't mind following. ;) Also, it's so nice to be able to use all my many coffee cups, that I collect from... everywhere. It's like I knew.

House Party is this website/word of mouth marketing business that products of all types use to get the word out about new or changed products ranging from wine to tv shows to coffee makers. ;) Applicants sign up to be hosts for a party revolving around whatever the product is; to invite a certain number of guests and share the information about said product. It ususally happens around a certain event (i.e. Velvetta did one around Super Bowl one year) or holiday (Betty Crocker does a yearly cookie party at Christmas) to which the product is in some way linked. I'm not explaining this well- just go to www.houseparty.com and check it out.

Progress reports came home (via my inbox) last week. The boys are doing really good this year. All As and Bs. I can't believe 1st Quarter is already halfway done though. The boys are learning that their respective grade years are a bit more challenging than last year. I tried to tell them, which means they didn't listen. But I have absolutely no problem with telling my kids "I told you so!" so there was a small (ok, not so small) amount of satisfaction there. Awesome mom, huh?

I've left the best for last- my weekly Win to Lose update. I've been doing the calorie counting thing and trying to work out daily (yeah, not so great with that. yet.). At my second weigh in I astounded the nurse by posting a 5 pound loss!! Wheeeee! Tracey for the Win. I feel like I can tell. My pants feel looser around the hips and waist. And my bra is definitely looser. (I have no problem with that.) Got to keep it going- any words of encouragement?

this just pisses me off

And I'm not afraid to tell you. I think I'm mentioned before (or, really, you could just figure it out if you've read more than one of my posts) but I have absolutely no problem with telling people how I feel. And I do not mean telling my kids I love them when they leave for school in the mornings. So, this is what happened today...

I went to the library to pick up a few books. I LOVE our library, but I HATE the parking lot there. It's basically a hill with the top being about 4 spaces across. It's crazy dangerous for me, since I don't have the best track record when it comes to hills. Needless to say (though I'm saying it anyway), I always park in the handicap spaces there. I don't like to feel that I'm taking advantage of my tag but I got it for a reason and that parking lot is the reason. It's a death trap. (Also, the parking lot of St. Charles Gingham's but anyway...) when I got there all the handicap spaces were full so I parked as close as I could on the less steep side of the hill and zig zagged my way up. As I approached the ramp up onto the sidewalk I noticed a car, with the driver sitting inside waiting, with no handicap tags... in MY space! So, what did I do? I marched right up that car and said "I just thought you'd like to know I actually AM handicapped. But I couldn't park here because you are!". Then I turned around and stumbled (a bit more than perhaps I normally would have. Ahem.) into the library. When I came out 5 minute later my spot was empty, waiting for its next rightful parker. Parkee. You know what I mean. So, yeah, all you non-rightful parkees, you are now on warning.  I will embarrass you in public if you try to steal a "good" spot if you have no right to it. And, seriously, if you, the driver, are just sitting in a car waiting, there is absolutely no reason you can't park further away and pull up when your passenger comes out. Unless you're the getaway driver. Then boy, would you be stupid to park illegally. And who robs a public library anyway? 

By the way, I've now figured out the answer to a question my sister asked in random conversation years before I got my handicap parking tab.  The reason stores often take up "good" spaces with parking corrals is so the handicap people don't have to walk so far to put their carts away. Target is great for this; Walmart not so much. At times I will pick a space further from the door at Walmart if it's closer to the cart corral. Because by the time I'm done hauling my ass around the behometh my legs are shaking. And I refuse to fall down in the freakin' Walmart parking lot.  

this = awesome... and hope.

Like a friend (an awesome, wonderful, amazing, intelligent, good looking friend- just in case he reads this blog) said, this kind of news seriously makes me cry. And laugh like a loon. And picture a future with me in it. Like I said on my birthday, I never imagined I would get this far and still be...me. But with advances in medicine that are occuring all the time, like this one, I can't help but be filled with a brighter hope for the future, not only for me and fellow NF2ers but, especially, for the next generation.


New Laser Targets Brain and Spine Tumors
http://www.winthrop.org/newsroom/publications/vol21_no2_2011/page6.cfm

"...The laser allows surgeons to remove difficult-to-reach tumors in less time, with lower risk of complications, less anesthesia and a smaller possibility of damage to surrounding healthy brain and nerve issue."

Go read about it! Now!

sunny days are here again...

Well, actually its chilly, rainy and gloomy- just the way I like it. There's something about a rainy Fall day that makes me feel all warm and cozy inside my house. We turn the heat up (just a tad) and keep the lights low. The only thing that would make it more perfect would be a fire, if we had a fireplace. (So, in our case, a fire would totally ruin my day.)

How's the "lifestyle change" going? (No, not that kind of change- it's a diet.) Well, thank you for asking- I've lost 3 lbs. I'm doing pretty good so far (pizza night killed me though. No more of those!)
I'm cycling. Not on a bike, with my calories. (Product placement alert!) I've been using this free LoseIt! app on my iPad. I can enter all my food intake, and it has a look it up feature so most of the time I don't even need to know the calories of what I'm entering, it can search them for me. Plus it has a long list of exercises and their calorie burning rate. I just select and enter how long I did it for. (And house cleaning counts as exercise! Yea- fist pump!)  This log is so much less work than a pen and paper log. It makes tracking so easy. And it's very helpful to see exactly how many calories I've already eaten. But, anyway, back to calorie cycling. According to LoseIt! to hit the weight loss I want each week I can eat 1750 calories a day. To keep my body from rebelling and going into "starvation mode" (ummm, yeah, I'm pretty sure it would because before I started I logged a "normal" day and 1750 is much, much less. I'm an emotional eater and apparently I'm always emotional.) I start day 1 at 300 calories less than recommended, so 1450 (stay with me here), then on Day 2 go to 1750, then Day 3 I  get to go up to 2050, then it starts all over again. So every 3rd day I have that "big calorie" day so my body doesn't start preparing for hibernation. It's working pretty well so far. I've mostly hit right at or close to my limit each day (except pizza night. I'm so ashamed. But it was SO GOOD.) Oh, and I've given up the drink. I've only had one soda this whole week. A Diet Dr. Pepper, which I used to like but it tasted weird this time (I'm trying very hard to convince my brain that this is true so go with it.) so I didn't want any more. (That actually is mostly true.) What am I drinking instead? Water. Lots and lots of water. So we are going through lots and lots of toilet paper. (TMI alert!) I swear I pee twice as much as I drink. That's okay though, I can use my soda money for extra TP instead. :D