just a quickie

Since I have SO MANY READERS*, I now feel obligated (in the best possible way) to give you something new to read, since it's been a couple days. So, here's an update on my life:

The rain actually freaking parted to go around us! I watched it on one of those cool weather in motion doppler radar map thingies. So, that weather-related pain I briefly mentiond (cough cough) the other day is sticking around a bit longer. I missed yoga class Wednesday and belly dance today; it's hard to do those kind of things when you are carrying a plastic bowl everywhere. (I even have one in the car. Don't believe me- ask. I'll share a picture.)

One of the boys' friends is leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks to go (something I didn't catch but didn't bother to ask him to repeat. I got the important part) so he's spending the night. S and K very quickly got into a fight that involved punches being thrown and elbows being jabbed. After their 10 minute time out (which was really so I could eat a cupcake in peace) I told them that they were being rude to their friend and the new rule for the night is: the FIRST one to throw a punch (jab an elbow, whatever) would be sent straight to bed, no room for appeal. But the other one wouldn't get in trouble at all, even if they had retaliated. I hope this makes them pause because I think they don't mind getting in trouble, as long as their brother does too. Weirdos.

And, finally, I broke off not one, but two nails this week so I really need to get my nails done. They are ripped off almost to the quick but my other nails are all too long so it just looks weird. Like I'm missing the tips of those two fingers or something.

And, on that cheerful image, hasta manana, amigos!

*ummm, that was a joke. but not in a mean way. i love my 5 readers :) (it would be 6 but i keep forgetting to share the link with my mom :D  )


Update: It was a successful ploy to get them to stop fighting! For one night, anyway. I'll take it.

lightning sizzles

all through my shoulders and down my back. It's like a wave of electricity dancing just below my skin. If you could see it, I think it might actually be pretty. What's not so pretty- me throwing up in a plastic bowl because the pain makes me so sick to my stomach.
When it comes to pain, I'm an old pro. When you have NF2, you have pain, simple as that. One of my doctors once told me, after I complained about the headaches, "You get your head cut open twice, you're going to have headaches." ( I love that and I still quote it all the time. Obviously.) Of course, my head's been cut open more than twice now. And my headaches have become such a part of my everyday existence that they're background noise more than anything. I don't even take anything for them until they start heading toward migraine status. (I'm drugged up enough as it is.)  I've pretty much forgotten what it's like to be truly pain-free. I think it might be a coping mechanism. If I remembered the good, the bad would be that much worse. Or something like that.
The nerve pain, though, used to be just random zaps here and there. The first time it zapped through my head I literally fell on my ass, it was so unexpected. It was not pleasant. At all. But it would just happen once or twice, sporadically, then stop. And it wasn't that common of an occurance. That was 12-13 years ago. These days it's a bit more common. And the location has changed, too. More legs and feet, (sometimes arms), less head.
But this pain is different. It hums just below the surface and you can't ignore it. You can live with it at low levels, and it's not always there, but when it flares, there's not a damn thing you can do but ride it out. To be perfectly clear, I DO take medication for this, daily, and it DOES help. The flares are much less frequesnt and of shorter duration now. And I know when they are coming so I can brace myself. (It's a specific weather thing for me.) But it's a constant pain that is insidious in how it burrows in and builds, not just by a dramatic increase in the amount of pain, but by the fact that it JUST DOESN'T STOP. There's no respite, no chance to catch your breath. For that day or week or however long that specific weather pattern holds, you're just constantly living inside the pain. That's when you start throwing up in the plastic bowl. You just can't help it, no matter how much pain experience you have. Your body needs to find a release somewhere, anywhere.
Now, I'm not telling you this because I want your pity (although if you want to send me presents, that's okay with me). The weather this summer has been extreme on so many levels that I want to help people (ahem, my family) understand what I'm going through. That I'm not just being lazy or trying to "milk" it to get out of being productive. (Hello, it's summer- that's really all the excuse I need.) When you poke me in the shoulder and I flinch and say ouch, do not roll your eyes at me and say "That didn't hurt- I hardly touched you." Because one of these d ays I will brain you with something heavy. And I think I'd get away with it, too. Seriously, how do YOU know what pain I feel? Ahem. Anyway. I'm just trying to give a more accurate picture of exactly what is going on inside me when this happens. More than just "I hurt. Go to hell. Touch me again and I will kill you." This is definitely bitch-tracey's territory. And, no, it's not that time of the month! (Ass.) 
This weekend's forecast is calling for rain. That usually puts out the fire. Let it pour down on me. I'll be the one dancing in the rain. Unless it's lightning. Through with that!

that's what i'm talking about

Yes! It finally feels like SUMMER! Emotionally. Not physically. Temp-wise it's been summer since like March. So, we baked at the ball park Sunday. Then the boys started summer camp yesterday. (The brain camp; the brawn camp is in 3 weeks.) Then today I took the boys and one of their friends, Co. (as apposed to their other C friend, Ch.), to the pool for some fun in the sun. Saturday we stayed in the water the whole time because it was just too hot to not. This time we stayed in the water the whole time because otherwise the breeze would make you shiverrrrr! Until you dried off. Then you'd have to just jump back in the water anyway to cool down from the blistering sun. When the pool closed at 5:00 (for swim lessons- go to the Rec Plex/YMCA like normal people! grumble grumble) we decided to head into McD's for some food. In our wet pool clothes. :) That is SO summer!!! And now we are lazing around in the a/c cooled house, half asleep, watching a B-horror movie (Abraham Lincoln vs the Zombies!!! or somerthing like that. And now that I've typed this out- why did I pay $1 for this at Redbox, I think it's on Netflix for free. Oops!) The only thing missing from our pefect summer picture- freshly mowed green grass (it's all dead and burnt) and a sunburn.

take me out to the ballgame

Today was a family double header- my mom's birthday (she's a HUGE Cardinals fan- happy birthday, momma!!) AND my youngest son's choir was selected to sing God Bless America to open the game. It was the St. Louis Cardinals vs the Miami Marlins (right?) and it was so. freakin. hot. That's becoming a recurring theme this summer, isn't it?* There were 15 of us there- a mini family reunion. It was so great to see everyone. And the hot dogs were delicious. :) Kiernan's choir did a fantastic job, very professional looking in their matching shirts. I had given K a cap to wear so I was able to pick him out as they walked onto the field. (Of course, he took it off to sing and I lost him in the neon green blur of the choir crowd.) We were up on the 3rd level, actually, technically the fourth b/c we were the last 2 rows of the section. But I whopped and hollered and clapped as loud as I could when they finished singing. On the way out of the game later I asked K "I woo-hoo'd really loud after you sang; did you hear me?" and since he's my mini-me, he said "yes."

The game was... kind of boring actually. But it had a very exciting finish! It was difficult to get really involved leading up to the ninth inning because I really just wanted to lean my head on my twinny's shoulder, close my eyes and take a nap. But going into the ninth we were trailing 4-2. Then with 1 out it was 4-3. Then with 2 outs, 2 strikes and players on 2nd and 3rd, we got a TWO-RUN SINGLE to win the game!!! I can't remember who hit it but I know the runner that crossed the home plate for the winning run was hometown hero David Freese!! We LOVE him! Then we sat in traffic for 30 minutes just to make it to the highway to start our 40 minute drive home.

♫ take me out to the ballgame,
take me out to the crowd.
buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
i don't care if i ever get back.
cause it's root, root, root for the Cardinals,
if they don't win it's a shame.
for it's one, two, three strikes
you're out
at the old ball gameeeee♫

Play ball!!



*St. Louis' streak of 10 consecutive days of 100 or higher (June 28 through July 7) has only been topped by the Dust Bowl year of 1936 when the streak was 13 days.

i want to but...

It's SO hot outside! When I saw the doctor (see... some previous post) and he said "exercise every day" I was like "No problem. Piece of cake. Piece of CRUMB cake." I got the yoga. I got the belly dance. I got the swim pass. I got the hula hoop. (More on that later- maybe with pictures. If I can ever find the charger for my camera.) And I've been good. I go to my classes, I have found a great at home yoga Netflix video that I do every morning that I don't have some other exercise planned, I got a new swimsuit. See. that's the problem. I really, really, really want to go swimming. I don't care how I look in my swimsuit. I'm married, I already won. I just LOVE swimming. But it's so freakin hot outside and the sun just burns down on you with the force of 10,000... suns. (okay, that didn't quite work out.) And how is it going to cool off? With rain. Big, huge, booming thunder and sizzling lightning storms. Oh, yay! Let's go swimming in that. Sorry, no death wish here. So, again my options are: be baked to a crisp by the sun or be blasted to mini-crisps by lightning. I think I'll just stay home. Where's that hula hoop?

Updated: We braved the heat, after slathering ourselves in a gallon of 500 SPF (do they make that?) sunscreen each, and headed to the pool. It looked deserted as we pulled up; all the chairs were empty except two, but that's because everyone was in the water. It felt like warm bath water but it was still cooler than my house. (I'm pretty sure, if it doesn't cool off soon, that my a/c is just going to get up and walk away. "Take this job and shove it.")

let's get this party started!

My husband and I share custody of his boys (MY boys) with their mom. This means that during the school year they stay with us but she gets visitation alternating weekends and holidays. It flips from year to year so, for example, one year we'll have them Thanksgiving and she'll have them Christmas then the next year it flips. Summer vacation is completely different though because it's so long. Generally we alternate back and forth every two weeks, for a total of 6 weeks each. But this year, due to some (ah-hmm) "miscommunication" their mom got her dates wrong so she asked to just keep them the first 6 weeks then hand them off to us. Her 6 weeks was up this past Sunday but 4th of July is her holiday this year so she got to keep them until 8 am today. Only it's 2 pm and they aren't home yet. Even though we talked to her yesterday and she said she'd drop them off this morning. Why aren't they home? Because they "had a late night with the holiday and want to stay to play." Fine, let them sleep in, I get it. They're growing tween/teen boys. But fucking have the courtesy to contact us when this is decided instead of leaving me to sit around the house until 3 hours after you were due waiting. (ah-hmm sorry. anyway..) I had things to do today. Now I'm doing them in the 102 degree heat with a car air conditioner that only blows cool-ish air, not cold. And apparent;y she's not even bringing them home. The husband is driving out to get them when he gets off work.

I have so much planned for us for our 6 weeks- got the pool passes (yes, I know I keep bringing them up- its COOL :D ); the boys are signed up for STEM camp next week (Science Technology Engineering Math- they are total nerds, just like us), and now fencing class one week at the end of July. Then in August family vaca to St. Thomas. Doesn't that sound like a fun half summer? There will be movie days and stay home and be lazy days and go to cool places days, too. But in order for us to get this party started, she must give us back my boys!

dogs are just plain nasty*

*if you gross out easily, maybe skip this one. you're welcome.

Of course, she thinks it's perfectly normal. Let me explain. (No, that would take too long. Let me sum up.) My cute, cuddly, loves to snuggle up and nap away rainy afternoons doggy, Delilah, has a profound love of rooting through my bathroom trash can, finding the mst undesireable (by my standards) pieces of trash in there (and you know what I'm talking about) and snacking on them. Even though she can't digest them and they swell up in her belly making her look like she's pregnant with quadruplets and just generally cause us all massive amounts of stress. Her, because she has to find some way to rid her body of these not-so-good-for-you treats; us, because we're the ones that then find the after-remains of these removals. Quite often by stepping on them as we shuffle, stumble, tumble our way through the dark, in the middle of the night, to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, pitch the cat out of the bedroom. You just shuddered reading that, didn't you? Or maybe threw up in your mouth a little. Yeah, it's that nasty.
Anyway. To combat the trash issue we have been leaving our little trash can up on the seat in our shower so she can't get to it. Problem solved. Unless you want to take a shower. Apparently sometime last week the husband who shall remain nameless, but I like to call him Dumbass, either left the door open while showering or forgot to put the trash can back up. Only he didn't tell me, until after I found the evidence. This time around the incident coincided with a vet appointment for annual vaccinations, etc. But we didn't get the vaccinations because Delilah was so distended we instead had to do x-rays and examines and buy special food and medicine to make sure she doesn't die. (Death by tampon- just great.) So, $250 later we have 2 teeny tiny bottles of medication and 2 cans of stinky "bland food" and we still have to go back next week for shots.
Oh, and she stinks because it's hotter than Hades outside but the groomer won't take her until we get her rabies shot updated, fuck you very much.