Monday, July 2, 2012

dogs are just plain nasty*

*if you gross out easily, maybe skip this one. you're welcome.

Of course, she thinks it's perfectly normal. Let me explain. (No, that would take too long. Let me sum up.) My cute, cuddly, loves to snuggle up and nap away rainy afternoons doggy, Delilah, has a profound love of rooting through my bathroom trash can, finding the mst undesireable (by my standards) pieces of trash in there (and you know what I'm talking about) and snacking on them. Even though she can't digest them and they swell up in her belly making her look like she's pregnant with quadruplets and just generally cause us all massive amounts of stress. Her, because she has to find some way to rid her body of these not-so-good-for-you treats; us, because we're the ones that then find the after-remains of these removals. Quite often by stepping on them as we shuffle, stumble, tumble our way through the dark, in the middle of the night, to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, pitch the cat out of the bedroom. You just shuddered reading that, didn't you? Or maybe threw up in your mouth a little. Yeah, it's that nasty.
Anyway. To combat the trash issue we have been leaving our little trash can up on the seat in our shower so she can't get to it. Problem solved. Unless you want to take a shower. Apparently sometime last week the husband who shall remain nameless, but I like to call him Dumbass, either left the door open while showering or forgot to put the trash can back up. Only he didn't tell me, until after I found the evidence. This time around the incident coincided with a vet appointment for annual vaccinations, etc. But we didn't get the vaccinations because Delilah was so distended we instead had to do x-rays and examines and buy special food and medicine to make sure she doesn't die. (Death by tampon- just great.) So, $250 later we have 2 teeny tiny bottles of medication and 2 cans of stinky "bland food" and we still have to go back next week for shots.
Oh, and she stinks because it's hotter than Hades outside but the groomer won't take her until we get her rabies shot updated, fuck you very much.

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