Saturday, July 13, 2013

Wallflower, schmallflower

Today I was quite the social butterfly. I feel so...popular. Haha. Managed to hit my nephew's last t-ball game of the year, even if I was a teeny, tiny bit late. Of course they won. There are no losers in t-ball. That starts next year. :D  It was just the "women" today: both grandmas, plus Ja's ma (aka The Sister), his sissy El (aka Pun'kin or Tracey Jr, depending on her behavior. Today she was both.) Oh, and moi ( It was a blue skies, breezy weather kind of morning, sitting in lawn chairs under the trees, cheering on some cutie-patootie kids who looked like they were having a blast. A five-star day right there.
Afterwards I did my "chores" for the day. Filled up the car, got groceries, worked out...which is getting the groceries. I am not a dawdler when it comes to the grocery store. I know what I need, I know where it is and I freakin kick it into high gear. It's not a successful day if the cashier doesn't ask "Are you okay? You look a"  So far, there have been no unsuccessful days. ;)
And then the highlight of this social butterfly's day- the marching band picnic, where I knew exactly two people and they both have the same last name as me. Then the one who was the whole reason we were there abandoned us. No worries, K and I just made some new friends. We picked up a new skill, too. It's this game you've probably heard of called Washers. And lucky lady here got a hole in one...washer in the hole...whatever it's called. Because I'm awesome. Actually...I couldn't even tell where the dang things were landing. Lol. K had to tell me. But it really was a blast, until I played nice and let another kid have my spot. Luckily, the hot dogs were phenomenal, so the day ended on a high note anyway.
You know, putting myself out there, in new situations, without any "back up" is really hard for me. Because of the deaf thing, of course, and because I've always been a bit socially awkward. Just because I'm older, doesn't mean it's easier, exactly. It just means...I don't care so much about how others see me. Or if it freaks them out to see my scars and the way I walk and the wonky eye, among other things. It's still hard for me to strike up a conversation but I'm getting better at putting myself out there, not just standing on the sidelines any more.

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